Sunday, August 30, 2015

Search Engine

Unless you work at The WB (what I affectionately call my school because it rolls off your tongue more smoothly than The WWB), you were probably unaware that I went from the classroom to an intervention teacher.

And because it's BOY Time (that's Beginning of Year Time, not romance) myself and others have been assessing.  Which means my professional life at the moment is simply one endless DRA.

I like routine as much as the next person, but after administering this test to about 30 kids, the texts get monotonous.  I'm fairly certain if you asked me to quote a Level A-C DRA book, I can recite it verbatim while standing on my head eating peanut butter.

So last week I'm beginning the assessment like normal when I realize I've lost my pen.  Knowing the test is useless unless I have a writing instrument, I offhand-idly remarked to the 1st grader in front of me, "Hang on a sec-I've lost my mind."


The kid I was assessing loves to help.  Which was probably the reason that after the words left my mouth, the kid decided he was on a mission, so he looked on top of the table.  He looked next to the table and finally he looked under the table trying his hardest to locate my missing brain.

Yes-you read that correctly.

He tried to find my missing brain. UNDER THE TABLE.

Should you need the same service, simply let me know.  Once he's found mine I will send him your way.

Until then, you're on your own.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Cleaning Up My Act

Because today was the first day in forever (seriously, we've had 6 days in the past 4 weeks that didn't involve precipitation), I completed a much dreaded chore: cleaning out my car.

Before I share with you the hidden treasures found in it you need to understand I drive a two door car. 2 bucket seats up front, 2 bucket seats in back for a grand total of 4 seats instead of the customary 5.

Afterward I had the following to show for it:

  • A dozen puzzle pieces
  • Legos
  • Markers
  • The door to the Batcave that I'd been looking for since March
And (drum roll please)

  • 4 pairs of shoes.
Cute shoes, people.  Jackpot.

On a more serious note, you may be aware that the flood waters from a storm crippled an eastern Kentucky county in particular on Tuesday.  3 people were killed (last I heard) and many more either lost their home or were displaced due to the effects of the floods.    

The great things about Kentuckians is we are generous.  We have no problem contributing to relief funds, so if you need to know where to donate, you can make a contribution to the Red Cross or tune into WKYT at 6:30 for a telethon.  Thanks for helping us take care of our own.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Summer School For Teachers: Words With Multiple Meanings

Feel free to use this anecdote when you teach words with multiple meanings.

The following is completely true. And happened to me this evening.

Miss Foster arrived late to a supper engagement to find her best friend already had a table and ordered drinks.  As she is a product of the South, the need to over-explain everything is drilled into her DNA.  So the apology begins:

"I'm so sorry I'm running late.  I was at the party and lost track of time.  One of my favorite subs lives two doors down from the party, so we went by and said hi to her as well.  Between those two things I'm a little behind schedule."

Miss Foster's best friend suddenly snickers, then doubles over in laughter and states,

"Yeah, when you said 'sub' I first thought you were talking about a sandwich, not a person.

You can tell I'm not in education."

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Summer School for Teachers, Module 2

To help us stay on our A game, I'm offering refresher courses on essential skills.

Today, we will practice our inferencing skills:

Miss Foster is a die hard University of Kentucky Wildcats fan, much to the dismay of her 76 year old, University of Tennessee Volunteers supporting father.  

After a brief excursion to a flea market her father presented her with this snazzy dining set:

(No, your eyes are not playing tricks on you.  The Vols fan purchased dining ware that reads "Future Wildcat Fan".)

As she is 34, unmarried, and childless (and very happy like that thankyouverymuch), exactly what message is her father trying to send? 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Prayers For Your School: A Prayer for Your Colleagues

Like many teachers I know, I love Jesus.

Though you wouldn't always think it-depending on the day I may not smile in the hallway, might not be the perkiest participant in whatever meeting I'm attending.  I cry and cuss on occasion (though not in front of kids).  I go home at night wishing I had been more Christ-like to all with whom I interacted.  I know people who both know me and read this post will no doubt be able to list many other of my shortcomings.

So it is with a humble heart I'm sharing Bible verses to pray for your school.  These are verses that for whatever reason encourage me in my faith walk.  I hope they do the same for you as well.

Please join me in praying the following verse for the adults in our various buildings as we begin a new school year:

  May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us;
     establish the work of our hands for us-
  yes, establish the work of our hands.
                                   Psalm 90:17

I'm praying that the Lord favors you, your grade level team, your administrators and paraprofessionals, your special education, specials staff and your counselors.  I'm praying the Lord favors your crossing guards and bus drivers, your custodians and cafeteria staff.  I'm praying that all the kids and families with whom you cross paths will be blessed.

I sincerely hope the Lord's favor is upon you this school year, and it rests there.  (Isn't rest such a lovely word?  It's one of my favorite four letter words.)  I pray He establishes the work of your hands so that you know He is there with you and your faculty in the midst of year.

And if you want a reminder of just what to pray, here's a little something:

You can click here to grab this as a document and print it. I'm going to print and put on my desk.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Summer School for Teachers, Module 1

I live to serve.

(Okay, in the spirit of humility, I'll confess my younger sister might say I live to boss others around, but we'll go with serve.  This is my blog, after all.)

And we all know that effective teachers continue to grow professionally in the summer so I'm offering my own personal anecdotes to keep us sharp.

Get ready-we're going to hit the ground running.

Read the following passage and answer the questions completely and thoroughly.

Miss Foster has filled up her Mustang countless times over the past several weeks.  As she is approximately 5' tall (and distressed because according to the new Kentucky law that went into effect on Wednesday declares she is a mere 3" away from needing a booster seat) one may have difficulty spotting her amidst the various books, teacher bags and stuffed animals that are her present traveling companions.

Not only has she filled up her car multiple times, she has also filled up her parents' car five times, her sister's car twice, and her best friend's SUV once.

She has plans to meticulously label all treasures before storing them in some logical fashion.

How many people live in fear their vehicle willed be called upon to haul the next load?

a) One neighborhood
b) One city
c) One county
d) One commonwealth

What drives a woman to pack up all her professional accouterments over the past 10 years?

a) She wanted something fun to do
b) She wants to be on Antiques Roadshow and figures something valuable is in the stash
c) She's moving from a classroom to a cubicle
d) She is a glutton for punishment

How often does Miss Foster think of hiring a moving company to come in and box and move everything?

a) Never
b) Occasionally
c) Often
d) She can't get it out of her head

The big day has arrived-all belongings are at the house and ready to be removed from the shed and organized.  What's the weather look like?

a) Hot
b) Humid
c) Rainy
d) All of the above

I know the above exam was incredibly tiresome and tenuous, so next week's module will be a little less complex.

Please join me next week for Module 2.

Provided I'm able to crawl out from under my mountain range of stuff.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Snow Much Fun

You may not be aware of this, but a new girl moved in today.

And to tell you the truth, I don't know what to make of her.

On the one hand, she got me out of a previously scheduled engagement (aka my job).  On the other hand, she was pretty demanding-I couldn't get many of the items on my "To Do" list completed because she was in the was in the way. She's gaining attention by the hour, so it may be you've heard of her and could quite possibly be expecting her to swing by your house as well.

Her first name is Winter.
Her middle is Storm.
Her last name is Octavia.

Heads up-she doesn't play nice.

Yes, that's 14" of snow.  In 12 hours.  With more headed my way tonight.
Good. Times.  

Monday, January 12, 2015

Puppy Love


Today was such a long day that my body keeps going, "You got this, girl, it's Wednesday already!"

Then my brain cross checks that statement and reminds me, "Nope.  Four more.  With new bulletin board displays due this week.  And ESS.  And faculty.  And Academic team.  And reception.  And various meetings during your planning.  You got this girl, in another four days."

So I have but one story that truly brings a smile to my heart.

Precious and I have had better days.  Today he got mad and started pitching a fit, which made me politely remind him mom is a call away.  He stomped.  And pouted.  And put exiled himself to a time out (at least he knows his limit). 

But all of this was (almost) forgotten at the end of the day.  We are packing up, it's a dreary Monday (we're under a travel advisory until 9 a.m. tomorrow) and out of nowhere Precious turns around.

"Miss Foster?"

"Yes, hon?"

"Wanna come over my house today and play basketball?  My dog finally had her puppies so she can play with us."

"Some other time, sweet friend.  Some other time."

Hoping you and your sweet friends have a wonderful week!